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Patriots and Chargers best bets in AFC

Half of the four AFC divisions are locked up with the New England Patriots the class of the AFC East and the San Diego Chargers lacking any real challengers in the West.

With NFL preseason football beginning in a few days, the light at the end of the tunnel grows closer and closer.  For those who enjoy the long term investment, sportsbooks offer up a variety of futures wagers.  Today we will take a look at the AFC.

Tom Brady will throw the ball and Randy Moss will catch it and Fantasy Football players everywhere will squeal with glee.  The perfect season that wasn’t will be returning with that potent offense and that means hardly any chance of anyone else winning this division.  Going 10-6 ATS last year, the Patriots covered more lines than Len Bias and looked good doing it.  The guy with the easiest job in the NFL last year had to be their punter, Chris Hanson. And when this Chris Hanson shows up in the middle of one of your dates, it is a much better evening than if Dateline NBC: To Catch A Predator’s version did.

With such a high spread you will have to lay down a lot to win a little, but let’s not kid ourselves.  Nobody else can win the East.

For pure comedy reasons, I will be hoping for a couple of injuries.  Perhaps the Dolphin’s Ronnie Brown can open the door for Ricky Williams again.  Last year Williams had his big return to playing after taking a couple of years off to go get high with Lenny Kravitz.  Then after a handful of plays he was injured for the rest of the year by being stepped on after losing a fumble.  Pure comedy.

Secondly, if Buffalo could find a way to get quarterback J.P. Losman back in the mix, it would be greatly appreciated.  I have never seen defenses get so excited as when they line up across from J.P.  It’s like everyone suddenly gets Mike Singletary eyes.

The AFC’s most closely contested division is in the North.  Pittsburgh is a slight favorite and could absolutely repeat after taking the tiebreaker from Cleveland in 2007.  They were the NFL’s highest rated defense last year, giving up a stingy 266.4 yards a game.  Safety Troy Polamalu is one of the most exciting players in the game.  He runs rampant around the field like his barber was chasing him.

Behind Willie Parker’s ground game, the Steelers have the ability to grab leads and control the clock.  And when you look at the opposing quarterbacks in this division: Carson Palmer’s inconsistency and Kyle Boller’s complete lack of game, it looks like it could be another title for Pittsburgh fans.

Except there is still the Browns’ Derek Anderson.  Behind his breakout 29 TD passes last year, the city of Cleveland has been given hope for some football success.  Anderson has reaped the benefits, going from bench warmer that nobody had ever heard of, to hanging out with bimbos at the Playboy Mansion, faster than anyone before him.  Mr. Anderson is living the American dream.

Anderson had his way with almost everyone last year, except for Pittsburgh.  He was terrible in Week 1, then in another Week 10 loss, he managed to throw for three TD’s, but only 123 yards against the Steelers D.  But at almost 2:1 odds, I like this Browns team to take the North.

If I had half a brain, I would tell you to jump on Indy.  I would tell you that I have learned from my past mistakes.  I would tell you that I am done betting against the Colts because it usually ends badly for yours truly.  I would tell you that my disdain for Peyton Manning and his giant noggin do not warrant taking another team to win the South.

But I enjoy the pain.  I am a rare breed of sadistic sports fan and I shall not be changing. 

This will be the year that someone else wins the South.  Indy has owned the division, last losing out in 2002 to Tennessee.  Jacksonville has been the runner up most of those seasons.  They could be ready to make the jump in 08.  They are very well coached behind Jack Del Rio and seem to make big plays when they need to.  But they still seem to lack playmakers in my book.  And that leads me to…

Every year there is a surprise team that comes from nowhere and this year that team will be the Houston Texans.  Finishing last year with a respectable 8-8 record in a tough division, Houston has shown some signs that they may be ready to take the next step.

Nobody should be booing the draft choice of defensive end Mario Williams anymore.  It is starting to look more and more like he may indeed end up with a better career than Reggie Bush or Vince Young.  Last season he sacked Denver’s Jay Cutler 3.5 times in a game and 2.5 against Vince Young.  The running game is a little suspect with the aging Ahman Green returning from a season ending injury.  The key to Houston’s success will be the passing game.

Matt Schaub had some flashes of greatness last year.  Having Andre Johnson as your go to guy will definitely help Matt’s cause.  Johnson is just flat out good.  Once that ball is hoisted in the air and you see Johnson sprinting down the sideline, it’s usually a good thing for Houston backers.  Take the money and run with the Texans to win the division.

In the meantime, get a bigger TV to try to contain the giant orb that is Manning’s cranium in about 10 million commercials.  Yikes.

The West teams are usually scheduled for the second slate of Sunday’s games.  That puts me at about 4:00 p.m. and somewhere on my third bucket of Bud Lights.  It is always this time when I experience a mixed bag of emotions.

I am elated that I have the day off and find myself right smack dab in the middle of some NFL football.  Yet I become somewhat sad now too.  Half of the games are over.  I am that much closer to a hungover Monday morning at work.  Did I just win money on the earlies?  Lose?  Maybe I worry too much.

One thing I’m not worried about is this division.  San Diego takes it by default.  I truly believe that LaDainian Tomlinson could run circles around the other teams by himself.  San Diego takes the West by at least four games.

Perhaps when they play Oakland, the Chargers can sign some Las Vegas street thugs to match up against wide receiver Javon Walker.  Too soon?

It’s kind of hard to pick against New England, but for my value, give me the Cleveland Browns, a bigger TV and another bucket of beer.