The Olympics are upon us, and every country is
looking to demonstrate their athletic superiority for the rest of the world to
envy. Let’s take a look at who will
overachieve and underachieve this year.
If you are
from the United States, can you really bet against our athletes succeeding? Well, I equate it to betting the Under in a
baseball game. It’s boring enough
without having to root for even less to happen than is already not
happening. Not that the Olympics are
boring, it’s just that I hate to sit on my hands rooting for failure,
particularly when my own countrymen and women have spent the entirety of their lives
training for two minutes of validation.
Hey, if I
can’t get all sappy and patriotic during the Olympics, then when can I other
than watching Lee Greenwood sing “Proud to be an American?" Look, the Yanks are favored to bring home the
most gold, but will we actually back those projections with our greenbacks? The only country that will challenge is China. Now, they can buy our real estate but they can’t buy our gold…at least
not at the London Olympics.
Gymnastics team looks loaded. And, of course, the only real competition for the
Men’s Basketball team is the 1992 Dream Team and that game will never be
played. I’m going balls to the walls and
rooting my sweet little tuckus off for the men and women clad in red, white and
According to Ladbrokes, I will get 7/2 odds if the USA wins between 40-42
gold medals. Sounds right to me.
You ain’t in
Beijing anymore, Comrade. There will be
no bending the rules this time around for the People’s Republic. In 2008 we found out that an average looking
little girl with a spectacular voice was cloistered away behind a curtain while
a pretty little girl with an average voice but a remarkable knack for lip
syncing “sang” a Chinese patriotic song (is there any other kind?) at the
opening ceremonies for all the world to see. They always want to put on their best face when the world is watching
and don’t care how much they have to cheat to do it. Hey, if they want happy faces, they should try
something new, like freedom.
Chinese have exported everything from sneakers to TV sets, they are still
having a tough time breaking into the world of stand-up comedy. It’s ironic, because everyone seems so happy over there. While I love their cuisine, I just can’t see them coming close to beating
the Americans in the gold medal category. I will happily wager that the Chinese athletes will buckle under the
pressure, knowing that their assembly line jobs are being filled by unskilled
labor. I am going on the low end for
gold medals as the People’s Republic will not be enjoying home field advantage
at the 2012 games. Total gold medals for the Chinese 27-29 at 6-1 odds.
I love the
Brits. They sound so smart. An average looking woman immediately moves up a
few notches if she’s got a British accent. I think it’s all just a ploy, though, to make Americans feel a bit
stupid. Have you ever heard a British
singer? That’s the big reveal because
they can’t sing and sound smart at the same time. They have to sound just like us.
Ok, so I dug up an interesting stat from Goldman
Sachs, who evidently research everything from mortgage banking to Olympic
medals. Why, I have no idea. But, they have concluded that home field
advantage is definitely a huge boon for the host country. The data concludes that the host country will
experience a 54% increase above their projected medal tota
l. Some of those medals will be gold. Therefore,
we will say the Brits rise above their projected gold medal total to the tune
of 28-30 gold medals at 6-1 odds.