Happy Pearl Harbor Day!
Happy Pearl Harbor day to everyone and a very special
birthday shout out to our first state and my former residence, Delaware, who on
this day in 1787 got the ball rolling on that whole “United States” thing. Pearl Harbor was one of the rare days we
celebrated in my house because my old man was in the war, World War II, so we
only celebrated three big holidays in my house. Obviously one was the 4th of
July and we’d have the biggest fireworks display on the block, the second was
Labor day, as that was actually when the war ended so we’d have a huge
barbecue; and the third was Pearl Harbor Day where we’d order Japanese food and
then kick the living hell out of the delivery guy while dad screamed who’s
surprised now, you bastard! One year we kept the delivery guy in the hull of
our PT boat for 6 months.
But all kidding aside I couldn’t pull myself away from ESPN
today as between the LIVE statement by Onandaga County DA William
Fitzpatrick’s, the scrolling bottom line, and my DVR rewind button it took me
90 minutes to watch eight minutes of TV.
But thanks to the SBRForum and their coffee reporter, see how I didn’t
say crack reporter as that was my last gig and it ended miserably in a Juarez
holding cell, I can surmise in a few short paragraphs what I wasted the better
part of the morning watching and will fill ESPN’s entire day of programming.
Too creepy too late
I awoke to ESPN and their live breaking coverage of DA
William Fitzpatrick explaining that the statue of limitations has passed on
Bernie Fine and how somehow the only blame lies in the unfortunate circumstance
that it took a terrified, manipulated child to come forward and that, as of
now, Bernie Fine faces no charges. Then if that wasn’t mind-bending enough,
Fitzpatrick took the Penn State-Syracuse rivalry to an entire new level in
saying that despite the myriad of comparisons of two major universities
suffering seemingly identical sex scandals within a month of each other, that
they were in no way comparable. Exactly
Mr. DA, comparing Jerry Sandusky to Bernie Fine would be like comparing Adolph
Hitler to Idi Amin, only one paid for it, the other was just exiled to the
middle of nowhere. Yes I am comparing living in Northwestern NY to Suadi
Arabia, which is unfair; the Saudis would die before they’d defect to the ACC.
Someone explain to me how, as I type this, neither one of
these two inhuman pieces of garbage are in jail right now, even though it has
just come out that Sandusky was denied a Division III Juniata college football
coaching job as early as last year as it was on his record that he had abused
little boys. Hey, it’s time to move on
Jerry, you and Bernie need to realize prefect tandem, to head to Nashville and
show their hockey team how to be successful Predators. (Not to mention the gun laws in the South are
lax enough to let everything just take care of itself).
The Miami Marlins
must be swimming in cash
Less than two days after signing Jose “Bunt like a Bitch fir
the Batting Title” Reyes to a six-year contract worth a reported 111 million
dollars, the Marlins reportedly have a 10-year, 200-million dollar offer on the
table for Albert Pujols. If he accepts the deal it will not only make him the
highest paid player in baseball but at contract’s end will make him the most
overpaid 41-year old Latino since Desi Arnaz, who actually made a living off
speaking English so poorly. Credit the
Marlins front office for playing to their strengths in going out and pursuing
big free agent infielders as, being situated in Miami they won’t need their
scouts to pay close attention to fill their bullpen as much as they will the
The NBA Schedule has
Starting on Christmas and ending on April 26th
the NBA teams will squeeze 64 games (48 Conference) into that four-month period,
which they will do by playing 42 back to back sets of games. I will say again, my solution was much better,
have them play the fourth quarter of all 82 games, as that will save everyone’s
time and effort as everyone knows the only thing more boring than the first three
months of the NBA season are the first the three quarters of and NBA game.
Happy Birthday Rita!!!